Collecting baseball cards used to be a simple hobby for children who loved the sport of baseball. As a kid, you used to buy a pack of cards and hope that somewhere in side that 15 card pack was the rookie card of your favorite player, such as Jose Canseco or Bo Jackson. You'd jump for joy when you got that Ken Griffey Jr. insert card or that Ken Camanitti card that completed your set.
Well, those cards are worthless now, at least in a monetary sense. But alas, the baseball card companies have not given up hope on this generation's young card collector. In a fierce battle to gain the advantage in an ever expanding marketplace, companies such a Topps and Upper Deck have gone to great lengths to lure in potential customers with a strange and eclectic new breed of "memorabilia" cards that can have anything from pieces of your favorite players game worn jersey on them, to specialty autographed cards and now they've taken the premise even farther by offering collectors a chance to find limited edition cards that contain an autograph and strand of hair of some of the most influential individuals in America's history. This historic "Hair Cuts" set made by the Upper Deck Corporation includes cards from George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and famous Apache Indian leader Geronimo.
http://www.upperdeck.com/marketing/news_article.aspx?aid=4268
Now these cards may be pretty cool, but BMDP got the low down on what's sure to be the next great memorabilia card craze. We are proud to introduce Upper Deck's new set "No So Great Moments in Sports History: Sports Scandals Edition." And here are a few of the cards the new set includes.
Marv Albert 1997 Sex scandal card - This card contains a locket from Marv's famous toupee that he was wearing the night he was allegedly involved in sexual misconduct with a 42 year old woman whom he had had a "relationship" with for 10 years. The details of the night are hazy, but it does have some of that fateful nights dialogue.
The piece of the toupee is above a picture of Marv with the play-by-play of the nights activities on the back that read:
"He's able to hustle it down. He's putting the moves on her. She's apparently not liking what she's seeing. Oh! A spec-TAC-ular move! He throws up a circus shot. From way downtown, BANG! YES! And Marv is now hearing it from the crowd…"
*Watch your fingers with this one, he's apparently a biter.
The Kelvin Sampson Cell Phone Scandal Card
The person who receives this card will be able to send it to the Upper Deck offices and redeem it for a special one of a kind Kelvin Samson inspired cell phone. Kelvin will also put you in his Fave Five* and you'll receive free texting for the year on the cell phone carrier of your choice.
* Blue chip recruits ineligible. Some NCAA restrictions may apply.
Marion Jones Steroid Scandal Card
Another send in card, this card can be in to redeem your very own license plate made by Jones herself for any state in the continental US. The plate can say whatever you want (possibly OLYMCHEATR or NOTFSTENGH or ROIDRAGE) and will be gold plated using the melted down remains of all the gold medals she won while illegally using steroids.
* Watch out, this one is going fast…a little too fast if you ask the IOC.
Tim Donaghy NBA Handicapping Card
Send this card in to Upper Deck and they'll send you one of the Tim Donaghy whistles that he used to fix games during the 2006-2007 NBA season. Feel free to use it to help keep your son or daughters YMCA game close. Blow it at a casino. Blow it while your talking on the phone with your bookie. Blow it on other crooked referees who where once in business with you, or simply use it to warn others when an FBI agent is on the premises questioning you about the numerous illegal activities you're involved in.
Do not however blow it at Rasheed Wallace cause he'll be waiting for you outside the arena and he will NOT be happy. And if you were thinking of getting away with it, don't bet on it cause we all know how Sheed rolls.
* Upper Deck is not responsible for medical bills to dislodge the whistle from you trachea. Use with caution and at your own risk.
Wilt Chamberlain "Not-So-Little Black Book" Card
Send this card to UD and they will send you Wilt the Stilt's infamous little black book. It contains over 20,000 phone numbers of ladies from all over the globe. Of course those ladies are probably well into their 60's and some are possibly even deceased, but hey, with this book you too could become a sexual "Globetrotter" and feel like you in fact are the "Chairman of the Broads…I mean Boards, Chairman of the Boards…"
OJ Simspon Scandal of the Decade Card
This card entitles the redeemer to a special edition "The Juice is Loose on the 405" card and the front left headlight of the white Ford Bronco used in the infamous low speed chase through the streets of Los Angeles in 1994. On the back of the headlight is an inscription by Al Cowlings that reads :
"This is A.C.! You got a genuine piece of my car. This is A.C. you know who this is, --damnit!"
* Don't let Juice catch you with this memorabilia at a card show or he might claim it as his property and try and steal it from you. Just be sure to watch your back when entering your hotel room, OK?
Bill Bellamy Rock and Jock B-Ball Jam 4 Scandal
We aren't sure what scandal took place at Rock and Jock 4. Possibly a point shaving scandal involving the incorrect height of the 20 point basket that favored Bellamy's team The Violators, maybe Bellamy purposely lied about Marky Mark's height being 5-8 when everyone knows he's can't be an inch over 5-4 or possibly it has something to do with Bill spitefully muddling up Dan Cortese's perfectly coifed hair right before half-time.
Either way, we know for sure that this card contains a picture of Bill and a piece of the shorts he wore in the game. And Upper Deck officials describe the smell of the card to be a mixture of sweat and sitcom failure.
Roger Clemens Steroid Scandal Card
This is another of the redemption cards that entitles the owner to all of the "used and left over evidence" of steroid use that Brian McNamee turned over to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, including left over needles, vials of HGH and even crushed beer cans.
Are you a Red Sox fan who still holds a grudge against The Rocketman and enjoy basking in the pitcher's personal failures? Are you a sporting enthusiast looking for something to help gain a little extra "edge" on your rec league softball tam? Are you a medical scientist with cloning capabilities looking to create an army of Roger Clemens' to crush your competitors and do your evil bidding?
Well with this card and the "weight training supplies" it comes with, you could do all three! Imagine the softball team that the California Biological Research Center could put together if they got a hold of this card! Look out Team Del Taco! There are 9 Clemens on the field and they are all looking to "brush you back!"
* Upper Deck is not responsible for any health problems associated with using dirty needles. They are also not responsible for cloning accidents, lopsided softball victories or the mutant Clemens monsters that are currently destroying your city.
Ron Artest Pistons/Pacers Brawl Card
This card has a picture of Ron Artest punching Detroit fan A.J. Shackleford on it and also has a small portion the infamous cup of beer that started the "Brawl at Auburn Hills," It's meant to honor the fans that stuck with pro basketball through the worst P.R. nightmare that the NBA has ever been apart of (outside of fixing games, gambling, rampant drug use, lopsided trades, etc) and it even has a personal message from Ron Artest himself on the back:
"EBay this bitch! Gotta get that paper son! It's not about winning, it's about getting paid! Use the cash you get from this card to start a rap label and then make enough money to fight whoever you want, whenever you want. The get a job down at Circuit City so you can get that employee discount on the album. Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money!"
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